Due to the arriving of the end for the practicum period, I packed my things to leave the school. I took 3 steps to get out from that school.
I felt so blessed when I’d been called ‘sir’ and ‘teacher’ along the practicum period… I called my teachers with those words before, I’d been called with those words during microteaching which was a part of the acting requirement, but at this school, I’d been called those words sincerely. I am now a ‘sir’ to my students. I had a 3 months practicum there, but I’m sure, after that 3 months, till the end of the day, even longer, maybe forever, they will call me ‘sir’, they will call me ‘cikgu’. Even for students that I met them once in a 30minutes relief class.
I realized that I am no longer a kid that can lick all the things from my teachers and guardians. I am now preparing my shoes to be licked by others. I have to feed them. I have to humanize them. I have to educate them. I have to create my own history book. It might be a very thick one, but it maybe not. And at that farewell point, I noticed, this is the right moment to start my book, because the last page of it will be determined by this simple start. I am now a grown up man. I bring a lot of heavy things on my shoulders, but still I add more to make them heavier. Am I crazy? Nope, of course not, I’m now too far from craziness. I am just a brave man having brave dreams and doing brave jobs.
The last step, I realized that I had added more people in my lovers list. I love my students. It was not too obvious at the first time our eyes met, and I didn’t even think about loving them. I felt, this job is a professional job that has an extremely strong and high wall between me and my clients, which are the students. But at this third step, I missed my students. I missed them so much. They called me ‘sir’, and made me as their ‘sir’, they had put their trust on me to teach them English. I could cheat, they would not know, but that ‘trust’, really softened my heart, and made me motivated to bring them to the highest mountain of success, so one day I can stand there, they can stand there, and we look to the ground, we see ourselves were crawling in those hot classes, we were hugging each other to calm the sadness of a failure, we were shaking hands to promise that that was not the end of our relationship. Looking at the past with tears, and we tell ourselves, finally we did it!
And for me, I have created an idiom, which I really hope it is an idiom:
“A weapon that the greatest teacher always has [in pocket], A CHEAP RED BALL PEN.
And for my students, I have taught them how a pen can make them success:
- make mistakes
- do correction
Farewell 2 Alamanda,
Farewell 2 Daisy
Farewell my mentors,
Farewell all students and teachers,
13th October 2010.